Butterflies go bye-bye

Message to Kelly Reynen, the gifter of the Butterfly Sunglasses:

I am sad to report that the sunglasses you gifted to me in Ohio died tragically, Friday, July 23, around 3 p.m. CST. Cause of death: broken ear thingy(?). Reason: unknown. Burial: Tribune trash can, me presiding.

Though the Butterfly Sunglasses only shaded for a short while in S.D., they did their task with honor, reflecting rays, protecting an aspiring reporter's retinas, and making highway driving safer for at least 15 people.

Why these Butterflies, as they came to be known, chose to end so abruptly is unknown; though, their former owner surmises it could have been a desperate attempt to avoid further punishing times in the abyss known as "the purse." Upon the even more tragic and untimely death of the Sunglass Visor Clip fastened in previous owner's crappy white-trash car, Butterflies had nowhere else to go besides said purse, or to lie covered in a pile of papers on Owner's desk. Thus, it could have been an act of grief and desperation.

Or it could have been an accident, brought on by Owner's freakishly big head.

But all this is merely speculation. All we know is that the Butterflies performed their Sun-Shielding task with honor, and will be remembered fondly.

Their replacement was discovered on a cheapie rack in Valentine, Neb. Lacking the sentimental attachment of the previous pair, having been gifted by a favorite soulmate, these new glasses have large shades to fill. (Though they are a snazzy shade of grey).

R.I.P. Butterflies. R.I.P.